I feel jealous of those people who have a close knit relationship with their siblings, I certainly don't. Both have deleted me off Facebook (the ultimate insult!) because we just don't get along. Most of the time I think they are crazy and very immature, notto mention whiny and negative people. Sad.
But then they think I'm just a bitch. And that is mostly because I say it how it is and not sugar coat everything for them. And because I won't take their attitude that because we are family we are endlessly in debt to each other. I have worked hard in my life and don't expect hand-outs from anyone, nor do I think that you should receive respect just because we have the same blood. Unfortunately, if it wasn't for the fact that we are blood, i would not have them in my life. This is not how I want it to be, it's just how it is and has always been, since we were all in Primary school. I was always the odd one out, and never got along with them.
But last night I went to an extended family dinner for my Nana's birthday, which neither of my sister's attended, SG because she is in QLD, and SB because she hates family gatherings. I'm not really a fan, but I wanted to catch up with my cousin, T. It was great seeing her again, we used to get along as kids, and are only 19 days apart. Our lives are very different, she is a Myotherapist and has opened her own clinic, she has no kids, just a partner of 5 years, and has a very active social life. Whereas I, have 2 kids, spend most of my time at home and am trying to get studying done now. I suppose in 20 years our lives won't be that different, just lived in a different order. Me: Kids then career T: Career then kids.
I'm hoping to catch up with her more and hopefully have a closer relationship with someone in my family! She lives and works close by so anything is possible. Although I have noticed that I do lack some social skills, which I understand to be because during my 20's, instead of meeting people and socializing, I was being a mum. Although that's not much of an excuse, you combine it with no money, no transport and low self-esteem, and you have the perfect recipe for a recluse. Now I find it hard getting to know people, but I'm trying. Had a lot of bad experiences with friends that have turned out to be less than friendly. Kinda causes you to put up a protective wall.
I really hope that one day things settle down and as a family we can all be in the one room together and not want to kill each other. But I won't hold my breath. After all, it's been over 20 years and things seem to be getting worse.